No Peace

Over the last few weeks I have slowly felt my peace get up and go.A part of that is down to me not looking for God and his peace in my life.This then leaves me open to all the old problems of anger and violence that I have never really escaped from.
My mother has been very sick with blood poising and I struggled to keep it together as it was touch and go for a few days.The doctors have since told us they thought they had lost her.I went between great fits of rage to breaking down in tears I let myself down and my family and the only part of God I felt I had left was my conscience which made me at least try to repent for the stupid ways I behaved.
I could feel the rage rush over my head and I lashed out at everyone and anyone.And then would break down in tears.Now I know what your thinking "this man leads a church"and you have a point.I felt like everybody wanted me to give something and the only thing I was giving was anger.Once again I need to try to learn that the only place I can get any peace is in the presence of God.
We are going away for a few days to a Loch side log cabin so I hope to come back in a better mood.