Just to say that being together today was amazing.Just having the opportunity to share in a safe place to be able to be honest and not be judged but loved and to find Gods word bringing new life to people was incredible.

We had a visit today from an old friend who said he had been going around different places looking for God,he had been reading books looking for God and talking to people looking for God.He came along today and listened to me tell everybody about my failures and how I felt I had lost God ,then how God finds us a gain.The good Shepherd doesn't give up on us.I read Ps 139 and I could feel the God bless people with it.I just wanted to be honest with people and with God ,I had nothing to give so that's what I gave but God is so wonderfully faithful to his creation.

We were asked to pray for our visitor at the end and I have a feeling we may be seeing a bit more of him for a while .He told us how blessed he was and that he had found Jesus among us today.He doesn't know it yet but just to hear someone say that, blessed all of us and reminded us not to take what we have for granted.

Psalm139

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.



Sometimes its difficult to escape the darkness that surrounds us in times of trouble and the desire of our hearts can be to hide in that darkness but these words have always given me great comfort .The God of David is a God who looks for us and can see us at our best and at our worst this can be disturbing for us to know that God can see us warts and all but it also brings about the greatest of hope.The hope comes from knowing that we are KNOWN yet no abandoned or forsaken that God is not like us he will not give up on what he has created .God will not leave his creation to its own ways he will rescue us.



Darkness can be the a great place for growth ,for coming to new revelations of the height and depth of Gods love.Darkness can be character building.But we need people around us who can see that darkness and who can walk through it with us.To many times out of good intentions people try to drag us back into the light when we are not ready.David would never have seen the heart of God without these times of darkness.

Over the last few weeks I have slowly felt my peace get up and go.A part of that is down to me not looking for God and his peace in my life.This then leaves me open to all the old problems of anger and violence that I have never really escaped from.
My mother has been very sick with blood poising and I struggled to keep it together as it was touch and go for a few days.The doctors have since told us they thought they had lost her.I went between great fits of rage to breaking down in tears I let myself down and my family and the only part of God I felt I had left was my conscience which made me at least try to repent for the stupid ways I behaved.
I could feel the rage rush over my head and I lashed out at everyone and anyone.And then would break down in tears.Now I know what your thinking "this man leads a church"and you have a point.I felt like everybody wanted me to give something and the only thing I was giving was anger.Once again I need to try to learn that the only place I can get any peace is in the presence of God.
We are going away for a few days to a Loch side log cabin so I hope to come back in a better mood.